Diane's story

"I am a survivor of prostitution in the UK and of being trafficked overseas. Since escaping the sex trade, I have spent over two decades supporting other women to exit prostitution. As well as my own experience, it is from listening to hundreds of other women exploited through prostitution, of witnessing the violence visited upon their bodies and minds and of helping them to exit and rebuild their lives, that has formed my views and convinced me of the legal approach we need to take.

 

Arriving in London in my late teens, I found myself greatly misled about the circumstances I was coming into. Soon the money ran out and the pressure began; my new ‘friends’ were now less friendly. I ended up way out of my depth and surrounded by older people who realised they could make a lot of money out of me. Not just madams taking a cut, but people pretending to be my friends who recognised my vulnerability and chose to cultivate controlling relationships with me.

 

It’s sad that someone saw a need in me, went about meeting that need and used it as a way to exert control. Control doesn’t happen overnight, grooming is a process. I went from being a happy trusting girl to finding myself standing in a penthouse being looked over by a madam. It was like watching it happen in slow motion to someone else.
 

"I remember the constant stress, anxiety and feelings of dread whilst being in prostitution. I used to unplug the phone just enough so that it wouldn’t ring, while still appearing connected. I’d feel so relieved that a’ job’ didn’t come through but highly anxious that those around me would figure out what I’d done and make me pay."

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I ended up being sent overseas as part of an organised prostitution ring sanctioned by the authorities. One night the head of security at a hotel showed me his gun, told me he used to be a mercenary and that he liked it, and asked me if my mum knew where I was. She didn’t and I was very far from home and from her.

 

He said he was going to have a ‘freebie’ - this was his terminology for rape. I didn’t struggle, I even smiled and pretended not to care. This took me years to get over; I understood in my head that I was trying to survive but I felt such a sense of self betrayal I because I wanted to fight back.  I understand now of course, that it wasn’t my fault.

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When the people paying are famous, in government, royal, civil servants or have diplomatic immunity; you don’t have any confidence that you’ll be believed or protected if you report violence or rape. Unfortunately, the best education and opportunities didn’t preclude these men from degrading and violent behaviour which is intrinsic to the misogynistic and oppressive system of prostitution. The sense of entitlement some men believe they are afforded if they pay crosses every section of society.

 

The better wallpaper and a mini-bar doesn't dilute what it feels like when someone has a gun and asks if you want to see your mum again. Being in a penthouse suite doesn’t soften the blow of rape or having someone leave bite marks all over your face.

 

I was fortunate to eventually escape and it has been the privilege of my life to have spent over 25 years supporting other women to get out too, and to contribute to policy and frontline service development for women exploited in prostitution. My heart and soul is dedicated to all victims of commercial sexual exploitation.

 

We need a model for Scotland that ensures victims are identified and supported, and where the burden of criminality is shifted off victims and on to pimps, punters and pimping websites.

 

I urge the Scottish Government to put into action its policy that states unequivocally that prostitution is violence against women. The Government must make good on its pledge to develop a model challenging demand for prostitution by decriminalising victims of sexual exploitation, wiping previous soliciting convictions from their records, providing them with comprehensive, resourced support and exiting services and criminalising pimping websites and paying for sex. It will be for the benefit of some of the most vulnerable people in Scotland – and for society as a whole."

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